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Recently I read that many middle-aged Japanese husbands talk about only three subjects when they return home from a hard day’s work at the office: “eating, bathing, and sleeping”
(meshi, furo, neru).
For this reason, it is said they belong to the
sango- zoku,
which literally means, “group (of those who use only about) three words.”
I don’t know how actual or how widespread this practice is, but there does seem to be some basis for believing that not a few Japanese husbands limit conversations with their wives like that.
A Buddhist scholar once said: “The animal world has no words, the human world requires words, but in the Buddha’s world words are unnecessary.”
One Buddha can communicate with another Buddha without words. In our human world, however, words are required to know what others think and feel, and therefore are absolutely necessary. But if those who live under the same roof talk only about meeting their physical needs of “eating, bathing and sleeping,” they have fallen to an animal state, for such a level of conversation is the same as no conversation.
I believe that most will agree that Japanese husbands work very hard. That is why they were able to perform the economic miracle that transformed Japan from a country that accepted unconditional surrender after World War II, to a nation that is second only to the United States in economic power. It is therefore hardly strange that Japanese husbands are completely exhausted
physically and mentally when they return home.
When they were young and full of energy, they undoubtedly had dreams of great accomplishments. But after passing middle age and coming close to retirement, they became aware of the limits of their ability. All their energy seems to have been expended. So it is not surprising that they are not interested in communicating any more than their basic needs, which are “eating, bathing and
sleeping.” when they return home.
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